The Bradford Batman is unmasked after shadowy crime fighting campaign
The world had never seen a superhero quite like it. When Batman flung open the doors of Bradford police station, swooped through them with a captured criminal and heroically informed officers “I’ve caught this one for you,” we all thought that we were witnessing the dawn of a very British superhero.
Clad in a deeply suspect Batman outfit, the caped crusader instantly became a huge internet sensation as CCTV footage went viral. Shrouded in mystery, the newest superhero on the block broke the mould of rippling, weaponised Hollywood machismo with a paunch forged in the Pubcave and a suspicion that his transport may be more mobility scooter than Batmobile.
A spokesman for West Yorkshire Police said: “Last week we had a very strange occurrence at the Police Station when a male wanted for an offence on our area was ‘escorted’ into our helpdesk at Trafalgar House by Batman.
“Batman came into the helpdesk, stated to the staff ‘I’ve caught this one for you’ and then promptly vanished into the night.”
Clearly keeping his hand in between the Joker’s bids for world domination, Batman had tracked down an evil doer wanted for handling stolen goods and fraud. What with the Bradford Catwoman being a cheery transsexual called Graham, a superhero can only play the cards he’s dealt.
As the world waited to hear of a recent escape from a mental facility or the dawn of a new age of shadowy justice, Batman finally unmasked himself yesterday.
Stan Worby, a Chinese takeaway driver, told the Daily Telegraph that he drove his old friend Danny Frayne, 27 off to the cells after returning from Bradford City's Capital One Cup game against Swansea at Wembley stadium, which he had attended in fancy dress.
Worby said: "I got a call from Danny while I was at Wembley and he said, 'can you run me to the cop station?' But as I was in London I couldn't.
"I told him as soon as I was home I would run him to Bradford central police station. We got back about 1am, and I picked Danny up in a minibus at 1.30am.
"I got some strange looks when I got to the cop station though. One policeman looked at me and just laughed.
"I said to the policeman, 'I deserve a medal, I'm a caped crusader'."
He added: "It was a joke at the end of the day and Danny wanted to go to the police station. I had spoken to Danny during the week and tried to knock some sense into him. It was getting on my nerves having police round all the time asking for him or his whereabouts.
"Danny's a good friend of mine and I've known him for 15 years or so. Who knows if I'll be doing some more crime-fighting in the future?"