Wiltshire man jailed for goat abuse and US man arrested for cat abuse while wearing an animal costume

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Fearlessly reporting in from the frontlines of taste, anthropology and the farmyard, we bring you the harrowing news that Robert Newman, aged 23 from Devizes, has been jailed for sexually assaulting a goat. (Enter horny joke here....)

This alas, was no moonlit romance between the hay bales where two star crossed lovers rue society’s intransigent attitudes and swear always to stay together. No, it would seem that the poor animal (who cannot be named for legal reasons) was left needing veterinary treatment and a thus far undetermined degree of psychological trauma.

Newman was jailed for six week for the attack while the farm in question has installed security cameras. The goat itself was unavailable for comment, but the prosecution read a statement on behalf of the family.

"This person has cost us a considerable amount of money because we have had to install security cameras.

"We have also had to pay for vet's fees and antibiotics for the injuries sustained by the goat."

Anne Ellery for the defence told the court Newman's actions were a "symptom of isolation rather than depravity".

Meanwhile, over in America, a similar story has surfaced, though this particular miscreant of the menagerie has upped the stakes somewhat. Not content with casual sexual abuse or opportunistic mounting, Ryan Havens Tannenholz, 28, of Boise, Idaho , dressed himself up as a selection of furry animals before foisting his amorous advances onto a cat.

Flayrah, an American website dedicated to fans of fictional furry animals – yes – really - said that Tannenholz liked to portray himself as a range of animals.

These include a 'sparkly' black and white dog called Bubblegum Husky, a blue fox named Kismet Fox and another purple dog.

Tannenholz has been charged with six counts of crimes against nature and one count of cruelty to an animal, according to US reports. Police reports state that he abused the cat on several occasions between January 2012 and January 2013, no doubt in a variety of deeply dubious guises.

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